Mother Shadow

5 Feb

A Meditation on Maternal Inheritance

Mother Shadow opens with the uncovering of a family secret. The author’s great-grandmother was not an orphan, as she’d been told, but a foundling, relinquished at birth by a mother who ‘did not consent to be named’. The discovery of the abandoned baby in her maternal line triggers a passionate and indignant reaction as she asks: what kind of a mother would relinquish her child? It also triggers a painful personal memory of the day she dropped her baby after falling backwards in her wheelchair and realised her worst fear. That her broken body, permanently injured in a plane crash in her early 30s, could not be trusted to protect her baby.

Troubled by her rush to judgement of her ancestor, the author becomes fixated on uncovering the mother’s identity and piecing together the fragments of her life, a quest that takes her and her family to Bologna. As she comes to understand the series of tragic events that compelled her ancestor to abandon her baby, she wonders if the compulsion to make sense of the woman’s act is linked to the overwhelming sense of inadequacy that haunts her because she is unable to mother according to the standards she has set for herself.

Endorsements

‘What kind of mother abandons her child? In her tireless quest to understand her great-grandmother’s unfathomable act, Cynthia Banham unearths a story shaped by crushing limitations and agonising choices. Her rich and sensitive narrative wrestles with the complexities of motherhood and inheritance with immense courage, clarity and compassion.’

Nadine Davidoff

‘Stories about mothers and children are powerful. They are stories about love, about the gentleness (and cruelty) and resilience (and weakness) of human beings, and the enduring hope that connects generations. They come from core emotions, arising from our fragility, our instinct to protect each other and our longing for life to continue beyond ourselves. Mother Shadow is that kind of story. And Cynthia Banham has written it like a thriller. Her rich description of centuries-old Italian city streetscapes creates an atmosphere of mystery and suspense. The story draws you in and doesn’t let go as clues about her search for her Italian great-grandmother arrive at a steady pace. I was on edge to the very end in anticipation of what was going to happen next.’

Moreno Giovannoni

‘Extraordinary! Cynthia Banham writes with such precision and elegance. Mother Shadow is a detective thriller, a richly detailed memoir, a transnational family history and a moving account of maternal love, told with unrelenting self-scrutiny and grace. I couldn't put it down!’

Roanna Gonsalves

‘Mother Shadow is a fierce and illuminating expedition into the wilderness of motherhood, especially the kind of motherhood that doesn’t fit neatly into the mainstream boxes. It is a memoir written as compellingly as a detective story, but also full of poetic, whimsical detours, such as encounters with Rilke and talking dead ancestors, or joyrides through Italy’s porticos. Above all, it is a tale of love – for the dead and the living. I was riveted and mesmerised by this book.’

Lee Kofman

‘A vividly told, meticulously researched exploration of inheritance, resilience and complicated, profound mother-love across generations. Mother Shadow is a deeply moving and sometimes startlingly insightful work and I know it will stay with me a very long time.’

Emily Maguire

‘Graceful and compelling in its execution, this is a memoir rich in human insight. Mother Shadow excavates the lives of some of the least valued of Italian women of the 1800s, women whom she is a descendent of: the poor and semi-literate mothers of illegitimate children. Compelled to learn more once she discovers that her own great-grandmother Natalina had been relinquished to a foundling home, Banham’s research narrative is emotionally and intellectually fierce. She deftly weaves in remarkable historical findings with her own experience as a mother with profound physical injuries and disability navigating the cobbled streets and porticos of Bologna. Banham’s history of historical mothering and foundling homes, and of her own contemporary mothering and disability are remarkable for what she discovers, and for what she reveals.’

Jane Messer

‘Mother Shadow begs the question: what does maternal agency truly look like? The fragmented form of the book creates a structural seamlessness between times, continents, and the question of what it is both to mother and be mothered. Banham’s meticulous and poetic attention to details real and imagined draw the reader into temporal scenes of nature, street and landscape, evoking a sense of timelessness across ages. Within it, the possibility of understanding, recognition and reconciliation between generations of women opens. These superbly written meditations are at times heartbreaking, always fascinating, and ultimately uplifting.’